How To Get My Husband Back??

I want back my husband and husband doesn't love me, are these the words that keep on popping out in your mind? Surely there must be some misunderstanding that causes your husband to leave you. You was shocked and devastated when he left you. You are now badly want your husband back and be with him again, am I right? You hope for reconciliation and forgiveness from your husband. There are only two reason why a loving husband would leave his wife-the first reason is in the relationship with his wife. If you as a wife do not perform the duty as a wife such as ignoring his love and care by putting more concentration on your children and career or whatever reasons rather than spend more time with him, he would felt neglected and the love for you will turned sour. Of course this is not an overnight thing but somehow gradually impacted his life to reconsider the relationship and caused your husband wants divorce.

Men though outside is strong but inside they are just like you. They have emotion, they have feeling, they need love and in other words they are as fragile as you too. Let me ask you a question, what if this whole situation happens to you? I guessed you would want to end the relationship as fast as he could. There was a saying "Successful Relationship Require Us To Fall In Love Many Times With The Same Person". Can you do that? The second reasons that made him wants to leave you and made you think "I want back my husband" is that he has already fallen for another women! The temptation of the world is so great that it is hard for him to resist. He will compare you to the girl he met, may be she has a beautiful body, young, good in body language, very attractive and sexy, less pressure in relationship, no nagging and so forth. Men are easily tempted by visual and easily aroused by what they see. Just look at the good shape figures of girls in magazines, newspaper and now the worst-internet! ALL of these factors somehow will slowly poisoned your husband mind if he is not conscious enough. So what are you going to do about it in order to win your husband back? Here is one of the way that can be helpful to you.

If he comes over to visit, don't stick to your husband for too long: Practice detachment. Never show your desperation and craving no matter how bad you want your husband back. If you want to get your husband back then do not be depressed and needy, complain, cry and whine. I don't care if your heart is breaking, don't let him see what is inside you anymore. Make sure you don't make it seem like you want him back badly-just be natural. Compliment him, talk to him, treasure the little moment you have together and make it count, then gently kiss him goodbye. No accusations, no making him feel guilty, and no pathetic, or sad behavior. The more fun you are to be with, and a pleasure to talk to, the less time he'll want to spend with the other woman. It may take some time, but be persistent! Just indirectly let him know that you do not need to depend on another person to experience happiness and peace. If you learn to cultivate this pattern, you will realize that your husband will be the one who is scared of losing you! Use this secret and I wish that you would not say it anymore, I want back my husband.

From --> http://ezinearticles.com/?I-Want-Back-My-Husband---Proven-Method&id=362760

Tips On Marriage PART II

1. Have date night!
   
   
2. Never pass up an opportunity to say "I love you".
   
   
3. Hold hands.
   
   
4. Hug & kiss every day (several times a day actually!).
   
   
5. Always believe that you got better than you deserved.
   
   
6. Be quick to say "I'm sorry".
   
   
7. Choose the one you love, then love the one you choose.
   
   
8. Keep the in-laws out of your marriage!
   
   
9. Love isn't always a feeling, it's a decision.
   
   
10. Hang in there. It's worth it.
    
    
11. Play nice, play often, love much.
    
    
12. Never air your dirty laundry as a couple in public.
    
    
13. Never keep secrets from each other.
    
    
14. Be each other's champion. No matter what, take your husband or wife's side first!
    
    
15. Communication is the key!
    
    
16. Always respect each other.
    
    
17. Never underestimate the power of a good belly-laugh and don't be afraid to laugh at yourself.
    
    
18. Never use the words 'Always' and 'Never' in a fight.
    
    
19. Never compare your marriage to others. What you see on the outside is not always what it is on the inside.
    
    
20. Don't make love in the same place/position everytime. Variety is the spice of life!

From --> http://www.romancestuck.com/marriage-advice.htm

Tips On Marriage PART I

Have you ever wondered "what is the secret to a long and happy marriage?" Our collection of tried and true marriage advice tips will help you answer that very question! These secrets to a happy marriage come straight from the horse's mouth -- those who are happily married!

1. Never assume.
   
   
2. Compliment more than you criticize.
   
   
3. For each time you vent about your husband/wife to your friends, tell three positive stories.
   
   
4. Remember that it is ok to do things differently (e.g. there is more than one way to peel a potato or fold the laundry).
   
   
5. Always make time for the two of you.
   
   
6. Marry someone that you enjoy listening and talking to.
   
   
7. Remember that marriage is sometimes a bed of roses and sometimes there are thorns.
   
   
8. Remember that the best gift that you can give your children is to love their mother/father.
   
   
9. Be fair! Split the housework, spending money, etc evenly. This way you are never resentful of your partners contributions (or lack of) or expenditures.
   
   
10. Never go to bed angry. (Unless it's 3a.m. and you're exhausted, angry, and not thinking straight.)
    
    
11. Remember that people do fight. It's how you do it that matters.
    
    
12. Before starting an argument, consider if it's really worth it.
    
    
13. Fight naked. ;)
    
    
14. Agree to disagree.
    
    
15. Never, ever mention the "D" word (divorce).
    
    
16. Do you want to be right or do you want to be married?
    
    
17. Respect each other's privacy.
    
    
18. Remember that "love is like childhood. You need to learn to share."
    
    
19. Marriage is not 50/50, it's two people giving 100/100 all of the time.
    
    
20. Surprise each other now and then.

From --> http://www.romancestuck.com/marriage-advice.htm

5 (Five) Secrets of a Happy Marriage

1. Remind yourself that it is okay to be angry, and don't feel guilty about having those angry feelings. Women, especially, grow up believing that it is unladylike and bitchy to express any negative feelings. Better to suppress anger, they're taught, than express it. But there are times when anger is legitimate and those occasions must be recognized and addressed. Once you do that, you'll be in a stronger position to say how you honestly feel and find a path for change.

2. Understand that although you disagree, you are not enemies. No matter how much people love each other, differences will eventually trigger conflict. Fighting fair means you will not attack each other -- physically or verbally. Name-calling, cursing, screaming, or blaming are verboten. So, is threatening separation or divorce.

3. Never use something that has been previously told to you in confidence as a weapon in an argument. When you do, you betray the trust your spouse has placed in you, and make it harder for your partner to feel emotionally safe in the marriage.

4. Never walk out of the room until you either both agree that an argument is over or have decided to table the problem and chosen a specific time to bring it up again.

5. Acknowledge each other's feelings and perceptions, without judgment or criticism. There's no "right" way to feel, and there will be times in every marriage that you simply will not agree. But you should always make the effort to unravel what is troubling your partner and show genuine caring for and awareness of his or her emotional experience. Phrases such as "I never thought of that" or "Tell me more about what you're thinking" will help you break out of an anger stalemate.

From --> http://lifestyle.msn.com/relationships/articlelhj.aspx?cp-documentid=8319188

Want a Succesful Marriage

1. Be a Blame-Free Zone

An interesting thing happens when you blame your spouse. You actually get more of the very behavior that you say you dislike. When I blame my wife, she’s quite aware that I’m blaming her. What does she naturally do? She blames me back!

I see her as the problem, and she sees me the same way. All over the country, there are couples blaming each other and feeling justified in doing it. Sadly, millions feel that being “right” is more important than the health of their marriage.

Blaming your spouse has never worked and never will. There are certainly times that you can be angry with your spouse, but carrying around blame and resentment will kill your chances for long-term success.

2. Commitment as a daily ritual

Commitment can’t just be a word you used on your wedding day. Commitment can be the use of specific acts that are done on a daily basis. Commitment can be an enthusiastic welcome at the door every night, daily acknowledgements, or spending free time with your spouse.

Commitment is shown in everyday acts that are repeated over and over. When these acts are forgotten or neglected, they need to be re-visited and started again. Bored? Then do it differently, change the ritual, or just get over it! Your boredom often speaks to your inability to find depth and meaning in everyday life—and your ability to handle a long-term relationship.

3. Use the “Five to One Rule”

For every scornful look, sarcastic comment, or criticism, there should be five positive acts or interactions--a hug, a wink, or a compliment.

In the research for his book Why Marriages Succeed or Fail, John Gottman Ph.D. found that if there were at least five positive acts for every negative one, the marriage was very likely to succeed. In fact, it didn’t matter if the negative interactions were quite hostile, as long as the positive interactions took place.

Successful marriages need a steady dose of kind acts and thoughts. When you provide these to your spouse, your capacity for kindness grows along with it.

So take stock of your marriage. Are there any aspects of it that you’d like to change?

A little knowledge and a little effort can go a long way.


From --> http://www.chiff.com/a/marriage-success.htm

christian marriage tips

• Keep God FIRST!
  
• Pray Together!
  
• Respect and honor each other!
  
• Encourage each other to grow together!
  
• Read the Bible together as much as possible!
  
• Be swift to hear & slow to speak!
• Make time to communicate with each other!
• Protect and honor your marriage vows!
• Do not let others come between your marriage!
• Have a "Mission Statement" for your Marriage & Family!
• Thank God everyday for your Mate & the Life you have together!
• Understand that "love" is a choice, not a feeling!(You must choose everyday to Love your mate)

From --> http://www.geocities.com/Heartland/Plains/8218/marriage.html

4 Tips to Save a Marriage and Improve Your Relationship

Saving a marriage is the desire of many couples who have found themselves in a relationship that has deteriorated. Although there are problems, the relationship may only need some guidance to get back on track. The following four tips to save a marriage will help you and your spouse begin the process of reconciliation.

1. Your life, your relationship and your situation belongs to you so take control. You have the ability to change anything in your life. Your behavior and the way you choose to respond will play a factor in determining the outcome of any situation. If a situation is not going the way you hoped it would, anger will not help it to get better. Always try to remain in control of your emotions and remain calm. Also, try to be positive no matter how bad the circumstances may be. A positive attitude can help so much in the way you view all the different aspects of your life, including your marriage. So, take control, decide what you want and leave the negativity behind.

2. No matter how frustrated you may be, always try to remain patient. When you first married, you were in the "honeymoon" stage and everything was wonderful. It took time for your relationship to reach the point of discord and it will take time for the marriage to get back to being fabulous again. Being impatient will not make the relationship better any quicker, or even at all.

3. Get creative and find ways to show love to your spouse. There are so many ways this can be accomplished. You could write "I love you" on a note, give a small gift such as a piece of chocolate, or even do a chore that your spouse normally handles. Give a smile, or an unexpected hug and kiss. Doing something good for another person can mean so much, even if it is a little act of kindness. You will also feel good about yourself as well.

4. With the state of business our lives seem to have today with jobs, kids, chores and everything else in between, making time to spend with a spouse seems to a low priority. But you need to spend time together even if it is only for a few minutes. Spend this time focusing on each other, talking about the day, cuddling together or anything you both feel like doing at the time. Just spend this time alone, without any other interferences like the television or phone, and reconnect with each other.

Start with these four tips to save a marriage as a beginning point to rekindle the fire in your relationship. An important thing to remember is that your marriage is worth saving and if you are willing to do what is necessary, you can be a success!

From :

http://ezinearticles.com/?4-Tips-to-Save-a-Marriage-and-Improve-Your-Relationship&id=1285800

Marriage Advice

Have you ever wondered "what is the secret to a long and happy marriage?" Our collection of tried and true marriage advice tips will help you answer that very question! These secrets to a happy marriage come straight from the horse's mouth -- those who are happily married!

1. Never assume.
   
   
2. Compliment more than you criticize.
   
   
3. For each time you vent about your husband/wife to your friends, tell three positive stories.
   
   
4. Remember that it is ok to do things differently (e.g. there is more than one way to peel a potato or fold the laundry).
   
   
5. Always make time for the two of you.
   
   
6. Marry someone that you enjoy listening and talking to.
   
   
7. Remember that marriage is sometimes a bed of roses and sometimes there are thorns.
   
   
8. Remember that the best gift that you can give your children is to love their mother/father.
   
   
9. Be fair! Split the housework, spending money, etc evenly. This way you are never resentful of your partners contributions (or lack of) or expenditures.
   
   
10. Never go to bed angry. (Unless it's 3a.m. and you're exhausted, angry, and not thinking straight.)
    
    
11. Remember that people do fight. It's how you do it that matters.
    
    
12. Before starting an argument, consider if it's really worth it.
    
    
13. Fight naked. ;)
    
    
14. Agree to disagree.
    
    
15. Never, ever mention the "D" word (divorce).
    
    
16. Do you want to be right or do you want to be married?
    
    
17. Respect each other's privacy.
    
    
18. Remember that "love is like childhood. You need to learn to share."
    
    
19. Marriage is not 50/50, it's two people giving 100/100 all of the time.
    
    
20. Surprise each other now and then.
    
    
21. The secret to a happy marriage is two TV's!
    
    
22. Have date night!
    
    
23. Never pass up an opportunity to say "I love you".
    
    
24. Hold hands.
    
    
25. Hug & kiss every day (several times a day actually!).
    
    
26. Always believe that you got better than you deserved.
    
    
27. Be quick to say "I'm sorry".
    
    
28. Choose the one you love, then love the one you choose.
    
    
29. Keep the in-laws out of your marriage!
    
    
30. Love isn't always a feeling, it's a decision.
    
    
31. Hang in there. It's worth it.
    
    
32. Play nice, play often, love much.
    
    
33. Never air your dirty laundry as a couple in public.
    
    
34. Never keep secrets from each other.
    
    
35. Be each other's champion. No matter what, take your husband or wife's side first!
    
    
36. Communication is the key!
    
    
37. Always respect each other.
    
    
38. Never underestimate the power of a good belly-laugh and don't be afraid to laugh at yourself.
    
    
39. It's the little things that matter most.
    
    
40. Never use the words 'Always' and 'Never' in a fight.
    
    
41. It's ok to argue, but never use curse words to express your anger.
    
    
42. Never compare your marriage to others. What you see on the outside is not always what it is on the inside.
    
    
43. Don't make love in the same place/position everytime. Variety is the spice of life!

From --> http://www.romancestuck.com/marriage-advice.htm

Serious Marriage Advice from Dr. Phil

From --> youTube

Seven tips to improve your marriage.

There's no doubt that after a few years, a marriage is not as exciting as it used to be. With careers, children or both, time for each other seems non-existent. However it does not have be that way. Marriages were meant to last, but in these times, the slightest disagreement means divorce. Heare are ten tips to improve your marriage.

1. Remember what Brought you two Together

Think about your first date and how much fun it was. It certainly had to be because you kept on dating till you eventually got married. Think about what attracted you to each other. Those qualities must still be there, look for them. If you can't find them, then start dating again if it would help bring out those qualities.

2. Begin dating again

To bring out the qualities you saw in each other start dating again. What did you both do on your dates? Go dancing? Had romantic candlelight dinners? Go bunji jumping? Whatever it was, start doing those things again. Try it once a month and see how it goes. If there is some progress then continue it once a week. Make a start.

3. Communicate

I'm sure you've heard it time and time again that communication is vital in a marriage. It is. Communication is actually speaking with one another, not reading minds. A Woman's communication style is not always easy for a man to understand. We don't always say what we mean. But wives, we need to be clear in what we say and want. On the other hand, men don't always listen. What we say goes into one ear and comes out the other. Men, you need to start paying attention to your wife's needs. This could greatly reduce the 'nagging'.

4. Tackle the Issues, Not Each Other

When there's a disagreement, please address the issue and don't attack one another's personality. That would just prolong the argument when it isn't necessary. Once you deal with a matter head on, it would be easier to find a solution to the problem. But if you insist on attacking each other the problem would just persist and all this leads to resentment.

5. Don't stay Angry

If you do happen to have an argument, don't stay angry for days or weeks. That's senseless. Pride has no place in a marriage. One of you must say 'I'm sorry'. Think about how much better you are going to feel when there's discussion rather than discord.

6. Compliment Each Other

What is your spouse's particular strength? You must not take each other for granted. If your wife is a good cook, then compliment her regularly on what a wonderful meal she has prepared. Is your husband handy around the house? Tell him how much you appreciate his help. This will go a long way in building respect for one another.

7. Give Without Looking for Anything in Return

Once you are in a marriage, giving of yourself is one of the keys to making the marriage work. If you do something with the expectation of getting something back, you'll be greatly disappointed. Giving of yourself means self sacrifice.

As time goes by in a marriage, the feelings you had for one another when you first met will not be the same. But this is no reason to give up and bail out. Practice these 7 steps and you could have a marriage that lasts 'til death do us part'.

From --> http://ezinearticles.com/?7-Steps-on-How-to-Improve-Your-Marriage&id=1479016

Keys for a Happy Marriage

From --> You Tube

Top 5 Christian Marriage Rules

According to the Bible, if you follow these rules for your Christian marriage, you'll put your family on a course for happiness and fulfillment:

1. Put God First

The very first commandment Moses brought down from Sinai was that the people of Israel were to have "no other gods" before Jehovah. How many Christian families forget this, as they elevate work, recreation, TV, money, and a host of other things above God in their day-to-day priorities.

2. Pray Individually and Together as a Family

Paul writes that we are to "pray without ceasing" and James tells us that the "effectual, fervent prayer of a righteous man avails much." How's your prayer life? Do you pray regularly and fervently to God? And do you pray not only individually, but as a family?

3. Mutual Commitment to Oneness

God instituted marriage in the Garden of Eden - at the very dawn of human history. The book of Genesis records God laying out the basic structure of marriage as follows...A man leaves his father and mother and cleaves to his wife, becoming "one flesh." A true marriage is more than a partnership. It is a "oneness" relationship. Two people literally become one. That should be the goal of every marriage.

4. Choose to Love

We throw the term "love" around very casually, but love is not a feeling. It's a choice. A decision. Because it's so easy to "fall in love," we assume that it should be easy to stay in love. Wrong. Staying in love requires a commitment to stick with your spouse through good times and bad, happy feelings and sadness, joy and hardship. Kind of sounds like the marriage vows. You must choose to love (and see love as the active verb that it is, rather than a passive noun) your spouse each and every day.

5. Be Proactive in Your Marriage

The book of Proverbs teaches us that "a man who has friends must show himself friendly." Above all things, your spouse should be your best friend. And the Bible teaches that friendship is based on initiative. You must show and demonstrate friendship to truly be worthy of friends. Well, let's not limit this to simply friendship, since Paul takes this same theme in Ephesians 5. That's a controversial passage, and this article doesn't have time to get into the theology of it, but suffice it to say, that both the husband and wife are given proactive commands and responsibilities.

From --> http://ezinearticles.com/?Top-5-Christian-Marriage-Rules&id=1479276

What to Say When Your Spouse Works Too Much

When your partner spends most of their waking hours engaged in work (either on the phone or computer) or in the office or plant, it can leave you feeling isolated and resentful. You may feel like the burden of the household and children has been placed on your shoulders when you thought the two of you were a team and would balance responsibilities together.

As a psychologist who has worked for 20 years counseling couples in my therapy practice in North St. Paul, MN, many times I see the wife who feels abandoned and the husband who is working too many hours.

This was the complaint that Amy had when she came in with her husband Josh. She was critical of him and focused on his behaviors that she wanted him to eliminate. She didn't like him attending evening meetings, taking cell-phone calls during dinner, or taking work related e-mails during family vacations. She further criticized him as a thoughtless husband and selfish father because he put his work first. She went on to compare him to her father who was "always" home in the evenings and "never shirked" his duties as a father.

You might well imagine that Josh became quite defensive in his response to Amy and even began to attack her abilities as a mother. He was mad at her and felt misunderstood and devalued. She was mad at him also feeling misunderstood and devalued. Their feelings and experience of the situation appeared to be the only thing they could agree on.

Amy had a legitimate complaint but she wasn't getting her point across which ended up making things worse in the long run and leaving her in a continued state of loneliness and resentment. We met for an individual session and I coached her with the following questions:

1.What does Josh's absence mean to you?
2.What positive things do you miss about Josh when he is gone so much?
3.What are you longing for in terms of emotional, physical, intellectual, or spiritual connection with him?

In our discussion, she came to realize she was beginning to doubt herself in her own parenting skills. With a 3-year old and a 9-month old, she was feeling overworked and inadequate. She missed Josh's easy manner with their children which helped her enjoy the children even though she was feeling tired and overwhelmed. She said she was longing for the emotional connection they had always had in the past. She also missed his physical presence in sharing the physical work of caring for the 2 children. I assured her that most parents would begin to doubt themselves and their parenting with the responsibility of tending to 2 children, a household, and a 40-hour job which she had been doing. I assured her that her concerns were legitimate.

I suggested she talk to Josh again but this time talking to him about what she longs for and what she wants as opposed to what she doesn't like or doesn't want. I told her it's okay to complain about being overworked but not to criticize his abilities as a person or father. I also suggested she not triangle in her father, but to speak to Josh directly about her concerns. When the couple returned the next week, Amy said she had been able to explain her needs and situation to Josh in a positive manner. She felt he had heard her concerns and was much less defensive. They were beginning to talk about what responsibilities he could take off her shoulders. He said he was trying to figure out how he could manage his work schedule better. He reminded her that he wasn't sure he'd be able to make any changes at all. They exchanged a warm smile. They had not made any decisions about the problem but they had been able to talk about the problem. Amy was less critical and Josh could hear her concerns better.

For Wife To Husband

After a particularly hectic day, my husband came home from work mentally and physically exhausted. We had a light dinner and laid on the couch together, chatting about our individual days.

As we were talking, I realised ( yet again) how wonderful he is.What a sweet man he is. What a delightful soul i am sharing my life with and how lucky I feel to that he is in my life.

I told him all of this and though he smiled and thanked me quite casually, I could see in his eyes just how much it meant to him to hear these words from me.

We are all more than aware of how important it is to acknowledge childrens efforts. To express our feelings towards them, letting them know how we love them and how well they are doing, to share how proud of them we are etc etc but we sometimes forget that this need carries on throughout our lives.

It doesnt stop at 18,20, 25 or even 30. We as adults need and thrive on the same encouragement and re assurance that we are doing ok as children do.

Ok as adults we need to learn not to depend on others for this, we try to learn to do this for ourselves. BUT, its still a wonderful gift to give to a loved one.. truthful, heartfelt and genuine encourgement and love.

When I expressed my simple truthful comments to my hsuband, he appreciated it, it helped him feel good.. and it helped remind me to be more aware of this need not only in my wonderful husband, but also my friends and my family.

From --> http://mysticmiss.wordpress.com/2008/07/02/tell-your-husband-hes-wonderful/

Save Your Marriage

Being married with the same person during years can miss excitation thus can be a reason in for which relationship except marriage is written. Here some suggestions as for the way in which you could relight the love in your marriage, incite your long partner to be with you and reinforce your feelings one for the other.

It doesn’t matter of if the diagram isn’t perfect but test to return him to it glance as beautiful as you can. Labels of point to the two figures with your two names written with the labels. Draw a large heart and write “I love you” or “I like-always inside him”.

Address an envelope with your partner’s office and mark it like urgent. Place the diagrams inside and ensure them that the envelope is sealed. It should be received by your partner at his office in the middle of a tiring and challenging day.

Arrange a picnic a fresh summer’s night of: Spread a cover on the floor and bring chocolates, snacks and champagne. You sleep on the cover and look at stars fixedly as both appreciate the snacks, chocolates and champagne.

Get a long stemmed rose and astonish your life partner by the delivery by it when it is at the house. A message should be attached as thanks you for inheriting my life.

Prepare a box in promptitude for this special massage. You will need the oil of colored massage, a silk sheet of paper and of a blank card in addition to one small decorated carton. Arrange the tissue paper of silk in the box. Arrange the articles of massage on a table and write on the chart imagination a massage?

Point out the memories of childhood while entering the park together and by pushing it on a swing.

Have fun with water: During the summer, buy two large water guns and take them with you with the beach. Give to your associate and both should have a large combat of water to you.

Discover what your partner always wished the moment when it was young. Whatever she say you with purchase it on its birthday.

From --> http://foryourmarriage.wordpress.com/2008/08/28/save-your-marriage/

Just 45 seconds For happy Marriage

Does it feel like your marriage isn't as rewarding as it used to be? Do you both seem so busy that you just don't have time for each other any more? Do you wish you knew how to reverse this trend before things get worse?

Here's a small behavior change that I've taught to many of the couples I see in marriage counseling. It takes less than 45 seconds a day-15 seconds in the morning, 15 seconds after work, and 15 seconds before retiring for the evening. This one small behavior change, done with a positive intention, can bring back the warmth you once had in your relationship. It almost seems too easy or so brief that it would be inconsequential. But, if done with positive intention, you can change the atmosphere in your relationship and home. If you already do this, count yourselves in the group of skilled, loving couples.

I'm talking about a particular type of 15-second greeting three times a day. Here's what Ron, half of a couple who came to see me for marriage counseling in my North St. Paul, MN office, had to say about it,

"Well, the act of greeting is really a small part of a relationship. And don't we already know how to greet each other? What could we possibly learn about how to greet each other?"

"And besides, we talk to each other on our mobile phones all the time. We say 'hello' with each call. What else is there?" was Lois's addition. Ron, employed for 30 year

From --> http://ezinearticles.com/?A-More-Loving-Marriage-in-45-Seconds-a-Day&id=1374062

Keys To a Successful Marriage

Don’t close the tab when I tell you that the keys to a successful marriage are obedience and sacrifice. Some of you are already cringing thinking that I am suggesting that you must obey your husband like a child obeys his or her parents. Well, don’t be surprised if I tell you that if submission to your husband is an issue than you have a problem with obedience to God. Don’t expect me to deal with all of the “what ifs” such as what if he tells me to do something illegal? We are not fools and we know right from wrong. When I say that obedience is one of the keys to a successful marriage, I am talking about obedience to God! The Bible encourages us in Romans 12:1,2 ………..to submit our bodies as a living sacrifice to God, Holy and acceptable……and not to be conformed to this world, but to be transformed by the renewing of our minds. This article is not about submission but I will say that one of the primary reasons Christian women struggle with the concept of submission is because they think like the world thinks as it relates to marriage. God’s word tells us we need our minds renewed. Being conformed to the world means you have not allowed God’s word to shape your thinking, but culture, pop psychology and feminist ideologies are your sources of wisdom and knowledge as it relates to your marriage.

God calls us to a life of obedience first and foremost to Him. This is the real issue at hand. Have you truly surrendered your life to God? Because if you are struggling with submission to your husband you are struggling with obedience to God for this is what He commands and requires of us. We demonstrate our love to God by being obedient to His word. See 1 John 1:5; St. John 14:15 and 15:10

Living a life of obedience to God requires sacrifice and self-denial. And this is a key element in having a successful marriage. We are all born inherently selfish and self-centered. We want our needs met and we respond to our husband based on whether he is meeting our needs. Well the real key is to get your focus off of yourself! See Luke 9:23-26

Forgiveness and Biblical Love are foundational to a successful marriage relationship. We have to be willing to forgive one another and allow love to cover the sins we commit against one another; to forget the past and begin anew. See Matthew 18:21-35, I Corinthians 13. Simple kindness and and tenderness towards one another go along way in maintaining a healthy marriage - try it!

Understand God’s design for Marriage: Additional Scriptures for Study

God’s Design for Marriage: Genesis 2: 18-25

The husband is the head of the wife: I Corinthians 11:3, 7-12; I Timothy 2:12-15

Please note that this is not an issue of equality as the feminists would like to portray it; this is God’s divine design. God created Adam first and told him take dominion over the earth; then he created woman as a helper to Adam. God assigned different roles and functions to men and women.

Marriage is likened to Christ and the Church (the bride of Christ): Ephesians 5:22-33

Marriage is a Covenant: Malachi 2:13-17

Qualities of a Godly wife/woman: Titus 2:1-5; I Peter 3:1-6

From --> http://sisters4christ.wordpress.com/2008/09/04/keys-to-a-successful-marriage/

The Most Important Marriage Tip of All Marriage Tips

Recently my father-in-law spoke at a wedding I attended. After 50 years of wedded bliss he offered the couple simple marriage tips. He told them simply that one of the most important the rich tips they will ever get in life is not to be afraid to say, "I'm sorry". He claims that this one marriage and tip can bring you many happy years as a married couple.

No other phrase is powerful enough to stop a fight and spread peace and joy throughout. Your spouse was ready to serve your head on a platter only seconds before these words were uttered. Now that they are in the open you are able to relax and get to making up.

You may think this solution sounds simple, perhaps too simple for this marriage tips to work. Men and women do not think of these words in the same way. For women, apologizing is easier than it is for man. Most men do not see the importance of apologizing.

Often this causes problems. While men may think that women wanting to hear these words are needy and dependent this is often not the case. Women often tend to feel that if a man doesn't say these words then he doesn't mean them, which is also usually not the case. Being able to look at both sides of the issue and seeing where your partner was coming from is one of the most important ways to prevent problems from happening in marriages. Occasionally men need to swallow their pride and say with their woman needs to hear and on the other side of the token women need to occasionally realize that just because their man doesn't say how he feels does not mean that doesn't have feelings.

This marriage tip, as with most all tips, is one that does no good to understand if you do not implement it.

Here are some practical marriage tips about how to apologize effectively:

Take full responsibility for your mistakes. Don't take out your anger or embarrassment on your spouse. Instead of a half-hearted apology you need to let your spouse understand that you truly do have compassion and care about your relationship.

When misunderstandings to happen it is important to not only apologize for the error, but to do acknowledge your partner's feelings in your apology.

If you have reasons for apologizing make sure that you have mentioned them in the apology. This is much better than giving a overly general apology that sounds more like a sermon.

Use proper timing. When you've done something small then an immediate it apology is appropriate. If you have done something a bit bigger and you feel that your partner's feelings may be hurt you should wait until you get a quiet moment along and then you can let her know she is the light of your life and means the world to you. Don't do this as she is leaving on her way to run errands.

You can explain what happened but try not to lay blame.

Marriage tips can be helpful but you should not expect them to work miracles. It is up to you and your spouse to work through your problems. You shouldn't expect your spouse to instantaneously accept your apology either. Forgiveness may take awhile and in the meantime that you self and your partner shoes.

By : Sevach Pepper

How to Apologize in Marriage

Joshua Uerbergang gives some very practical tips on how to effectively apologize.

• Don't make the other party a partner in what happened. Take full responsibility for what happened. An apology like, "I'm sorry I broke the dish but please don't set it so close to the table next time." won't be too effective.



• Acknowledge the other person's feelings.. Don't just apologize for what happened but also apologize for the pain or discomfort you caused. "I'm sorry I came home late and didn't call to tell you. I'm sure you were worried." is much more powerful than just to say, "I'm sorry I came home late and didn't call to tell you."
  
  
• Be Specific.. Don't say, "I'm really sorry for all the times that I hurt you." It sounds like a politician speaking and not a real apology. It means next to nothing. In Another Article he correctly calls this a "non apology apology".



• Timing. If you did something very little (in the other person's eyes, not your own!) then this really isn't so important. But if you caused a lot of hurt then don't apologize when your spouse is running out of the house to take the children somewhere. Wait until it is quiet time and only then apologize.



• Explain but don't blame. You should explain why you did what you did but, like we said before, don't make the other party a partner in it.

Five Tips In Marital Relationship

1. Increase the Level of Respect You Feel Towards Your Spouse. When was the last time you lost control in front of someone you greatly respected? We tend to have greater control over our words and emotions when we respect those around us. The greater the level of respect you feel towards your spouse the easier it is to listen to your spouse. A respectful tone of voice comes naturally and it is easier to think before you speak.

2. Stay in Control. A basketball coach will call a time-out when things are getting out of control. He calms his players down and helps them focus on what they need to do to accomplish their goal. The same principle applies in marriage. Learn to call time-outs. There is no limit to the number of time-outs you have, so use them as frequently as you need

3. Look at the Conflict From Your Spouse's Viewpoint. Many conflicts come from simple misunderstandings. Misunderstandings can easily be discovered if you first take time to see the conflict from your spouse's viewpoint. Before you attempt to share your viewpoint make sure you completely understand your spouse's viewpoint. This exercise can also help you discover compromises you might have otherwise overlooked.

4. Change Your Conditioning. One researcher found if he rang a bell when he fed a dog, eventually he could just ring the bell and the dog would begin to salivate. The same conditioned response can happen in a marital relationship. Certain phrases such as “We need to talk” or “Your mother” can cause your heart rate to rise and your brain to kick into “Fight” or “Flight” mode.

The first step to changing this conditioned response is to recognize what is happening. Make a list of the phrases that set you off. Brainstorm with your spouse a list of alternative phrases that can be used. Before using these new phrases make sure you have a game plan in place to implement tip #5.

5. Make it Safe. It's easier to ignore the “Fight” or “Flight” urge if we feel safe in a conversation. As soon as we feel attacked or backed into a corner it's almost inevitable we will fall into “Fight” or “Flight” mode. This is why we need to work extra hard at helping our spouse feel emotionally safe during a difficult conversation.

Tone of voice, body language, facial expressions and our choice of words all significantly contribute to the level of safety our spouse feels during a conversation. If they feel threatened by any of the above, chances are pretty good they will either fight back or retreat. As soon as you sense your spouse is either fighting back or retreating, you need to immediately stop and figure out what you said or did that made them no longer feel safe. Once you figure it out apologize and make the appropriate change. If you don't stop immediately then you will likely get pulled into a downward spiral where you both end up saying things you will later regret.

By taking the time and effort to learn and implement these 5 tips you can significantly decrease the number of times you find yourself on one side or the other of this photo. But, implementing these tips isn't easy to do. Changing how you interact during difficult conversations takes time and a lot of effort. However, ask yourself if you would rather continue dealing with the emotional fall-out from acting like these lions or make some changes and prevent losing control in the first place.

A healthy and happy marriage is within the reach of all couples who put the time and effort into achieving it.

From --> http://www.healthymarriagetips.com/conflict2.htm