How to Apologize in Marriage

Joshua Uerbergang gives some very practical tips on how to effectively apologize.

• Don't make the other party a partner in what happened. Take full responsibility for what happened. An apology like, "I'm sorry I broke the dish but please don't set it so close to the table next time." won't be too effective.



• Acknowledge the other person's feelings.. Don't just apologize for what happened but also apologize for the pain or discomfort you caused. "I'm sorry I came home late and didn't call to tell you. I'm sure you were worried." is much more powerful than just to say, "I'm sorry I came home late and didn't call to tell you."
  
  
• Be Specific.. Don't say, "I'm really sorry for all the times that I hurt you." It sounds like a politician speaking and not a real apology. It means next to nothing. In Another Article he correctly calls this a "non apology apology".



• Timing. If you did something very little (in the other person's eyes, not your own!) then this really isn't so important. But if you caused a lot of hurt then don't apologize when your spouse is running out of the house to take the children somewhere. Wait until it is quiet time and only then apologize.



• Explain but don't blame. You should explain why you did what you did but, like we said before, don't make the other party a partner in it.